Recently, I reluctantly participated in a Segway tour of Columbus. I felt tired and achy that week and was certain that I would be further taxed by the tour. I began to create a story in my mind that I would fall down and break a hip or blow out a knee. These worries and catastrophizing almost prevented me from going on the tour.
I often tell my clients to remember we have no time machines or crystal balls. It is a common pitfall to get stuck in replaying the past, fretting endlessly about what we might have done differently to avoid a negative outcome. We wish we had time machines to go back and fix it. We also don't have a crystal ball. We do not know with certainly what is coming our way. Our predictions are not often accurate. To work with our anxiety, we might predict a negative outcome. When the negative outcome doesn't arrive, we say, "oh well, guess that didn't happen" or, " phew, what a relief." But, the costs of catastrophizing can produce harsh consequences for our mental health.
I caused myself undue stress entertaining the thinking error of catastrophizing. I practiced a negative outcome in my head. My imagined broken hip became real to me. Catastrophizing is a way, along with other thinking errors, that we attempt to keep ourselves safe in a big scary world. We are scanning for the dangers initially which makes sense in rational thought. Catastrophizing is when we become lost in the danger.
I have a friend who would always challenge any hint of catastrophizing in my language with the phrase, "hmmm or ......maybe it will be easy." Maybe it will be easy is an option to try on. It acknowledges the nebulous quality of the life we haven't yet lived. I did not break a hip or injure any part of me on the Segway tour. I enjoyed beautiful downtown Columbus on a crisp fall day. I felt the Segway was intuitively designed. It was an experience of ease.
There exists a difficult dance acknowledging our real fears and knowing they are not facts. I'm not sure who first said it but it is often quoted on the internet that "worry is praying for a future you don't want." What does praying for a future we want look like? How can we ask for support and be challenged in avoiding catastrophizing? How do we remember that there exists the potential for ease.
Note: There are a number of thinking errors including perfectionism, all or nothing thinking, and mind reading. You can read more about them in the book Feeling Good by David Burns or refer to a quick checklist from Psychology Today posted on my FB page for yourturncounseling.